I'm Mischulaikah. I help people stop guessing what their body needs, and start working from data — through food, lifestyle, and (when it makes sense) functional testing.
"I built this so you can find in weeks what took me years."
Three ways to work with me
From self-paced food tracking to deep functional testing — pick the level of depth (and investment) that matches where you are right now.
For curious starters
28 days of food logging that surfaces what your body has actually been trying to tell you.
For 1-on-1 coaching
Three months of 1-on-1 work with me to build the food and lifestyle pattern your body actually responds to.
For deeper investigation
Functional biomarker testing with me as your practitioner. From kit to personalised protocol in five weeks.
My approach
For sixteen years I navigated my own autoimmune disease — doctor by doctor, diet by diet, supplement by supplement. Most of what I was told to do treated me like an average. None of it treated me like me.
Functional nutrition is what finally let me work from my own biology instead of someone else's protocol. That's the work I do now — for myself, for my clients, and through OrthoFoodie at scale.
PRINCIPLE 01
Find out what your body is actually doing before you change anything. Data first, action second.
PRINCIPLE 02
Real food carries information that no pill can replicate. Supplements come in only where food can't reach.
PRINCIPLE 03
You're compared to you, not to a population average that doesn't share your biology.
Who's behind this
I'm certified in functional nutrition, and I built OrthoFoodie because I needed it before anyone else did. Every offer here is something I've used or built for myself first — then opened up to other people walking the same road.